I Am Angry

I am angry. I need to say it.

As I think about it, I am angry on a number of levels. First and foremost, I am furious at our president. Though I recognize that he is not responsible for the virus, he is exactly the wrong person to be leading us through this crisis. Let me count the ways:

  1. He is impulsive. Not a good quality in a crisis.
  2. He is unwilling to follow the experts or the data or the science. When asked what metrics he would use to decide when to open the economy, he pointed to his temple – his head!!! “It’s all in here,” he said. I can only shake mine.
  3. He is vindictive. He doles out aid and supplies to his political allies, or those who pay him compliments. I give Andrew Cuomo credit for being able to play that game – at least to some extent. It must be infuriating to deal with someone so juvenile and thin-skinned.
  4. He is a terrible role-model in every sense – from not following the CDC’s advice in his behavior and actions, to his shameless lying. I listened to his first major press conference where he announced that there would be a nationwide website we could consult to find out where to get tested; and that testing sites would be set up in parking lots of Wal-Mart and Target. All of that sounded good – and presidential. I was pleasantly surprised. Sadly, it was all lies; or if not outright lies, he was willfully misleading us.
  5. He never acknowledges when he is wrong or apologizes for lying or saying hurtful, insulting things.

I could go on and on, but I won’t.

I am angry that 43% of Americans still seem to approve of his performance.

I am angry that he will likely not be held accountable for any of this. His unwillingness to acknowledge the potential for pandemic months ago cost thousands of lives. I know others share responsibility, but he is the president! And, despite all of this, he could still be re-elected!

I am angry that he and his administration have rewritten the role of the federal government  – and the Republican party has stood by and watched (or tacitly supported it). The federal government is there to take on problems that extend beyond states’ borders. We can argue about when that comes into play, and we can differ on any number of policies. But, how is this virus different than an attack from a foreign enemy? A pandemic is a threat to our national security and safety. How can it be left to individual states to manage? The virus does not recognize state borders. It also pits states against each other. What is the point of being the United States of America if this is how we are going to operate?

I am angry because I feel powerless. I know the strategies one should employ when feeling powerless, but they are inadequate right now. And, given that I am hunkered down in my house, there are limitations.

I am angry because I have few useful skills for this situation. I don’t know how to sew so I can’t make masks. I don’t have the patience for sewing, knitting or crocheting, and I don’t own a sewing machine, so watching YouTube videos isn’t an option. I don’t have a factory that I can repurpose. I have no health care training. I wonder: what can I contribute? I am trying to be a good citizen by staying home.

I am also angry at myself because I realize that I have been selfish. Though I have been in mourning since Trump was elected, I have largely gone about my life, allowing the injustices that have been perpetrated (the separation of families at the border, the widening gap between the haves and have-nots, the treatment of immigrants generally, the increased threats to our environment, etc.) to pile up, but then roll off me. Maybe it was a matter of self-preservation, letting things go that you feel you can’t change. But now, with CoVid-19, even I can’t escape it. My privilege doesn’t protect me. It makes life easier – my quarantine is way more comfortable than most – but my life has been upended and I worry about family and friends being safe, healthy and able to withstand the economic impact of this calamity. Only now is my anger stirred to this level. How selfish is that?

It’s a lot of anger to be carrying around. I know the drill – do the things I can. Do good deeds for others. Focus on constructive actions – take care of my health, eat well, exercise. Stay connected to the people I love. Look to the helpers for inspiration, and there are many. There are many people stepping up to do good things (I love John Krasinski’s videos), courageous things (going to work at the risk of getting ill is courageous). All of that helps to quell the anger, until it boils up again and I need to vent. Thanks for listening.

7 thoughts on “I Am Angry

  1. See are all angry. Maybe when this is finally over,we can mobilize before Nov. elections to defeatTrump. It eventually helped end VietNam. How to mobilize the mid west and Die hard Trump supporters is a huge problem. So others will have to educate and prove the falsehoods to the whole nation, not just the East and West states


  2. I guess all I can say is “right there with you.”

    The only thing I can really add is that ultimately, 45 is a symptom of a wider problem. Even if we manage to evict him from the Whitehouse, as long as conditions persist that keep people suffering needlessly, a similar story will play out.


    1. I agree that Trump is a symptom, but I hope that in evicting Trump, we also evict the others who enable the system to persist – like McConnell, etc. Then we have a chance of meaningful change.


  3. I’m angry and depressed with the nations leaders both with the President and Congress. And this before the COVID-19 virus upended our lives. I’m currently reading Hunter Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72” and the issues we are facing today (minus the virus) are not that different today than what the American Public was up against during the 1972 election. A dishonest Republican President, lying politicians, and a disorganized Democratic Party. Keep in mind 1972 Nixon was re-elected with the Watergate fiasco becoming public knowledge months after the election. The main difference for Nixon as opposed to Trump was Nixon lost the support of his political base and that is why he resigned rather than face impeachment.

    Let me get back to my point about the Democratic Party being disorganized in 1972 as similarly compared to what the Party is experiencing today. In ’72 the anti-Viet Nam war movement contained radicals that disrupted the ’72 primary season interrupting speeches and causing other disruptions. There also was a candidate that left wing democrats of that time were supporting and causing grief for the original front line candidates (Muskie, Humphrey, McGovern). There was also the Governor of Alabama, George Wallace that was placing very well in Southern State primaries, causing more disruption within the Democratic Party. The Republican opposition was solidly behind their candidate in Richard Nixon. The Democrats with McGovern as their candidate never recovered from their disorganization and their failure to have a unified message across the varying splinter groups within the party. Nixon won in a landslide. McGovern took home 17 electoral votes. Nixon resigned less than two years later.

    So be angry, be depressed but somehow realize we’ve been through this before and that as a nation from 1974 – 2016 most Americans did well. If the Democrats can unite, come up with a unified message, and have most importantly lessen the fear that the undecided voter may have regarding socialist policies that some in the party are campaigning for, if they can manage these three things they will win in November.


  4. When a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce us under absolute despotism, it is our right, it is our duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for our future security.
    And that’s before we even get into coronavirus.

    Thank you, Linda


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